Having a positive attitude has many benefits not least of which is better health. But the pace of life today is such that we are all subjected to more negative stresses and strains and sometimes feel we can no longer cope. So how do we maintain a positive attitude when the going gets tough? This book will help you examine what creates negativity and provides tips and techniques to convert that negative energy into positive energy. It looks at using the power of the brain and inner dialogue to change the way you think and therefore react. It will help you to examine your life/work balance and provide you with a greater understanding of yourself.
Author: Pauline Rowson
Pauline undertakes many speaking engagements to audiences of all sizes on a variety of business related and personal development topics. A motivational speaker who helps people to gain greater value from life and to move out of their comfort zones if needed and to become even more positive.
Indeed some people, whether through upbringing or
personality (or both), may have a somewhat pessimistic
outlook on life. Do you know a person who is never
happy unless they are moaning? Instead of getting
irritated, feel sympathy for them for the wasted time
and energy that they will never release, for the life of
disappointments and frustrations that will surely be
in store for them for their unrealized potential. If you
are one of those people who see the glass as half empty
then take heart from the fact that you are reading
this book and want to change that outlook – if you
are quite happy to be miserable then you might as
well stop now and either give this book to someone
else or throw it away.
You’ve decided to read on to see how you can find
contentment with yourself, how you can increase your
self-confidence, how you can release your full potential,
how you can stop being frustrated with life, how
you can in effect benefit from being positive and staying
positive.
• an increased chance of needs being met
• greater confidence in yourself
• greater confidence in others
• taking more initiatives
• greater self-control and worth
• a saving in energy
• no see-sawing of emotions
• more options
Our Inner Voice...
The way we react to an event, person or circumstance
is determined by what we are thinking, by the dialogue
that is being conducted inside our heads. I like
to call this our inner voice. This inner voice can be
saying negative things to us and therefore will lead
us to react to events and people in a negative way:
we can be angry, or upset or withdraw from the event
or person and let that anger and emotion turn inwards.
We need to hear that negative inner voice, recognize
it for what it is and change it to a positive inner voice.
This will mean that we will then react to people and
events in a much more positive way and so ensure
better emotions and health for us as individuals.
Life-changing events such as the loss of a loved one, a
relationship breakdown, and life-threatening events
like illness take tremendous courage to overcome or
to see through and for a time you will experience negative
stress. This is completely natural and you will need
greater help through these experiences than this book
can give you. Recognizing that you need practical or
spiritual help is a positive step.
Now, looking at the other things on your list in comparison
to the three I have mentioned above, don’t they seem more trivial? Getting things into their proper perspective is one technique to help you to become more positive and stay positive. I look at this in more detail in Chapter 4 which examines values and goal setting.
So to get back to our list of negative things, let’s see
how we can change the way we react to these negative
elements.
Table of Contents
About the author page ix
Introduction 1
What you will learn from this guide 2
How to use this guide 2
1 Why should we be positive? 3
But what if I am a natural pessimist? 4
The benefits of being positive 5
What makes you feel negative? 6
What to aim for 8
In summary 9
2 How to cope with negative feelings 11
Understanding what is controllable
and uncontrollable 11
Our inner voice 12
Reframing 14
The window of opportunity 15
Comfort zone 16
In summary 21
3 Understanding stress 23
Realistic expectations 24
The right amount of stress 25
How do you recognise high levels of stress? 27
Questionnaire 27
A simple test 29
In summary 31
4 Know yourself 33
Get to know yourself questionnaire 34
Your values 35
Goals 38
Steps 39
Positive thinking 41
In summary 42
5 Being assertive 43
So what is an assertive person? 43
What does submissive behaviour mean? 45
Are you behaving submissively? 45
What makes us become submissive? 46
What does aggressive behaviour mean? 46
Are you behaving aggressively? 47
What makes us become aggressive? 47
Responding assertively 48
In summary 50
6 Self-esteem 51
What do you like about yourself? 52
What are your strengths? 53
In summary 56
7 How to project a confident image 57
Appearance 57
Choosing the right colours 58
Choosing the right type of clothes 60
Giving a presentation 62
Self-image 62
Are you presenting yourself as a stereotype? 64
In summary 64
8 Body language 67
Your handshake 68
The first impression 69
Walking confidently into a room 70
Visualization 71
Personal space 72
Meetings 72
Positive body language signals 72
Negative signals to avoid 73
In summary 75
9 It’s what you say and how you say it 77
Watch your language 78
Making requests 80
Refusing requests – how to say ‘no’ 81
In summary 84
10 Handling unproductive feelings 87
A positive inner voice 87
How others influence you 89
Influencing through past behaviour 92
In summary 93
11 Tackling the difficult situation or person 95
The four part statement 96
In summary 100
12 Handling put downs and criticism 103
Receiving criticisms 105
Giving criticism 107
In summary 107
13 Managing aggression and conflict 109
Handling conflict 109
Handling aggression 113
In summary 115
And finally 117
Think positive to be a success 117
About the Author
Pauline undertakes many speaking engagements to audiences of all sizes on a variety of business related and personal development topics. A motivational speaker who helps people to gain greater value from life and to move out of their comfort zones if needed and to become even more positive.
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Easy Step by Step Guide to Being Positive and Staying Positive
by Pauline Rowson