Having a positive attitude has many benefits not least of which is better health. But the pace of life today is such that we are all subjected to more negative stresses and strains and sometimes feel we can no longer cope. So how do we maintain a positive attitude when the going gets tough? This book will help you examine what creates negativity and provides tips and techniques to convert that negative energy into positive energy. It looks at using the power of the brain and inner dialogue to change the way you think and therefore react. It will help you to examine your life/work balance and provide you with a greater understanding of yourself. Author: Pauline Rowson Pauline undertakes many speaking engagements to audiences of all sizes on a variety of business related and personal development topics. A motivational speaker who helps people to gain greater value from life and to move out of their comfort zones if needed and to become even more positive.

Indeed some people, whether through upbringing or personality (or both), may have a somewhat pessimistic outlook on life. Do you know a person who is never happy unless they are moaning? Instead of getting irritated, feel sympathy for them for the wasted time and energy that they will never release, for the life of disappointments and frustrations that will surely be in store for them for their unrealized potential. If you are one of those people who see the glass as half empty then take heart from the fact that you are reading this book and want to change that outlook – if you are quite happy to be miserable then you might as well stop now and either give this book to someone else or throw it away. You’ve decided to read on to see how you can find contentment with yourself, how you can increase your self-confidence, how you can release your full potential, how you can stop being frustrated with life, how you can in effect benefit from being positive and staying positive. • an increased chance of needs being met • greater confidence in yourself • greater confidence in others • taking more initiatives • greater self-control and worth • a saving in energy • no see-sawing of emotions • more options

 

The way we react to an event, person or circumstance is determined by what we are thinking, by the dialogue that is being conducted inside our heads. I like to call this our inner voice. This inner voice can be saying negative things to us and therefore will lead us to react to events and people in a negative way: we can be angry, or upset or withdraw from the event or person and let that anger and emotion turn inwards. We need to hear that negative inner voice, recognize it for what it is and change it to a positive inner voice. This will mean that we will then react to people and events in a much more positive way and so ensure better emotions and health for us as individuals. Life-changing events such as the loss of a loved one, a relationship breakdown, and life-threatening events like illness take tremendous courage to overcome or to see through and for a time you will experience negative stress. This is completely natural and you will need greater help through these experiences than this book can give you. Recognizing that you need practical or spiritual help is a positive step. Now, looking at the other things on your list in comparison to the three I have mentioned above, don’t they seem more trivial? Getting things into their proper perspective is one technique to help you to become more positive and stay positive. I look at this in more detail in Chapter 4 which examines values and goal setting. So to get back to our list of negative things, let’s see how we can change the way we react to these negative elements.

 

About the author page ix Introduction 1 What you will learn from this guide 2 How to use this guide 2 1 Why should we be positive? 3 But what if I am a natural pessimist? 4 The benefits of being positive 5 What makes you feel negative? 6 What to aim for 8 In summary 9 2 How to cope with negative feelings 11 Understanding what is controllable and uncontrollable 11 Our inner voice 12 Reframing 14 The window of opportunity 15 Comfort zone 16 In summary 21 3 Understanding stress 23 Realistic expectations 24 The right amount of stress 25 How do you recognise high levels of stress? 27 Questionnaire 27 A simple test 29 In summary 31 4 Know yourself 33 Get to know yourself questionnaire 34 Your values 35 Goals 38 Steps 39 Positive thinking 41 In summary 42 5 Being assertive 43 So what is an assertive person? 43 What does submissive behaviour mean? 45 Are you behaving submissively? 45 What makes us become submissive? 46 What does aggressive behaviour mean? 46 Are you behaving aggressively? 47 What makes us become aggressive? 47 Responding assertively 48 In summary 50 6 Self-esteem 51 What do you like about yourself? 52 What are your strengths? 53 In summary 56 7 How to project a confident image 57 Appearance 57 Choosing the right colours 58 Choosing the right type of clothes 60 Giving a presentation 62 Self-image 62 Are you presenting yourself as a stereotype? 64 In summary 64 8 Body language 67 Your handshake 68 The first impression 69 Walking confidently into a room 70 Visualization 71 Personal space 72 Meetings 72 Positive body language signals 72 Negative signals to avoid 73 In summary 75 9 It’s what you say and how you say it 77 Watch your language 78 Making requests 80 Refusing requests – how to say ‘no’ 81 In summary 84 10 Handling unproductive feelings 87 A positive inner voice 87 How others influence you 89 Influencing through past behaviour 92 In summary 93 11 Tackling the difficult situation or person 95 The four part statement 96 In summary 100 12 Handling put downs and criticism 103 Receiving criticisms 105 Giving criticism 107 In summary 107 13 Managing aggression and conflict 109 Handling conflict 109 Handling aggression 113 In summary 115 And finally 117 Think positive to be a success 117

Pauline undertakes many speaking engagements to audiences of all sizes on a variety of business related and personal development topics. A motivational speaker who helps people to gain greater value from life and to move out of their comfort zones if needed and to become even more positive.

 

Easy Step by Step Guide to Being Positive and Staying Positive by Pauline Rowson
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